Chivalry: The Difference Between A Gentleman And Deadbeat

Sunday, August 28, 2016


It's a common misconception that women are more attracted to intrusive, bad boy types while the gentlemen get ignored and left out in the cold.  Many men have come to the conclusion that chivalry is dead because women are unappreciative of their kindness.  Well, ladies, I can say without a reasonable doubt, these men are wrong! While we do love a man that has a bit of edge to him, women still want to be respected and treated like a lady. 

The main difference between these two types of men is confidence.  Women have and always will love chivalry, but if the gentleman does not exude confidence during the first interactions with a woman, there is a chance that she could pass him over.  Unfortunately, there are some us who have fallen for the jerk aka "the bad boy" over the gentleman  because we devour his confidence and overlook the respect and thoughtfulness that he should expose. Take a look to see what qualifications I think a gentleman should possess when first meeting/dating you and what signs should make you run for the hills.


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The Gentleman:
Will take charge.  He should ask you what type of place/food you like; then pick a place like that.

He'll often smile.  Women respond greatly to positive reinforcement.

He'll take pride in his appearance. He'll try to wear something that makes him look like a million bucks. Not only is he representing himself, he's representing you. 


 He's a class act.  He will open your door, pull out your chair and allow you to order first.  He'll offer your genuine compliments and project kindness to other people that are around you.  A gentleman will portray himself with confidence, be ambitious and showcase class whether in public or in private.

 
He'll be interested in your life. Surprisingly, a lot of men will ask questions.  Women love attention and wanf to know that he's curious about us.

He'll respect your boundaries.  Ladies, we're typically ok with a little physical contact on a first date- a hug at the beginning of the date, the quick touch on the arm while pointing out something or a hand on the small of your back.  He should never have his hands in the red zone areas unless you've put them there. 

He'll pay for the date.   A gentleman will take care of the date without hesitation.

The Deadbeat:
Shows up late.  This is a bad indication to what the remainder of the date will be like and what you'll have to deal in the future.

Gets so drunk that he can barely stand or talk coherently.

Goes out with dirty clothes on/ or under dressed. If he won't put any initiative into his attire to impress you on the first date, he will not do it through out the relationship.

Smokes around you.  Unless you're a smoker as well, this is not cool nor does it say he's considerate of you.

Compares your body to his ex girlfriend. This is an ultimate no no. 

Forgets to mention his children.

Flirts with other women in front of you.  It's just disrespectful.  What more do I need to say.

Complains about everything. The date should be fun and exciting, not a time to have therapy sessions.

Does not ensure that you get home safely.  If he does not escort you to the door or even call you to make sure you made it home safely, forget giving him a second date.

Asks you to pay or go dutch.  Sorry, but I strongly believe that a man should pay on the first date. 

What other qualifications do you think distinguish a gentleman from a deadbeat? Post a comment below and let's keep the conversation going! 

~Love and Light

photo credit: North Country Public Radio

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